Dear Giov,
I saw this on the news and thought you'd enjoy it:
OBAMA NAMED COUNTRY MUSIC ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR, NASHVILLE (The Borowitz Report) -
President Barack Obama stunned the country music world today by picking up its highest honor, Country Music Entertainer of the Year.Mr. Obama was chosen unanimously, according to the Country Music Association, beating out such favorite as Carrie Underwood and Toby Keith.In Nashville, country music insiders were shocked by Mr. Obama's selection, given that he has only been in office for eight months and during that time has yet to record a single country song.But Mr. Obama was gracious in receiving the honor, saying that he was "honored and humbled" by the award, before excusing himself to accept this year's Heisman Trophy.
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so i replied:
Hoop,
I saw this on the news and thought you'd enjoy it:
OBAMA NAMED COUNTRY MUSIC ENTERTAINER OF THE YEAR, NASHVILLE (The Borowitz Report) -
President Barack Obama stunned the country music world today by picking up its highest honor, Country Music Entertainer of the Year.Mr. Obama was chosen unanimously, according to the Country Music Association, beating out such favorite as Carrie Underwood and Toby Keith.In Nashville, country music insiders were shocked by Mr. Obama's selection, given that he has only been in office for eight months and during that time has yet to record a single country song.But Mr. Obama was gracious in receiving the honor, saying that he was "honored and humbled" by the award, before excusing himself to accept this year's Heisman Trophy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so i replied:
Hoop,
It took me a few minutes before I realized why this made no sense. The disclaimer appears to have been erased. Showing this joke to my autistic, tone-deaf daughter did however get a laugh.
I am too well informed to understand why some Americans think Obama might deserve a music award. I suppose eight years of Bush's "No Child Left Behind" push to improve the country's literacy rate, evitably ruined the Nation's chance to raise the percentage of educated adults. Everyone with a high school diploma should know the first black President of the United States has no rhythm! What the fuck did Bush do to this Country?!
Its a precious stroke of luck the Nobel Committee did not hold Obama responsible for the International mess Bush made of things. Choosing instead to focus credit on Mr. Obama's outline for returning our Nation to the diplomatic table, the "Global Community" after eight years of arrogant gorging at the Unilateral, Industrial trough; for accepting America's complicity in offenses to the Geneva convention; for reclaiming a role of leadership in discussions of Environmental concerns; for turning the light of Health Care back onto the American people; for allowing the Justice department free reign to explore criminal violations of the Constitution by members of the previous admiinistration and for trying to get the Olympic Committee to think Chicago.
The hope is there. The prize is a clever way for the Norwiegans to simply raise the octane level. Its their prize, let them do with it what they will. If the prize is so unfair, so meaningless, why all the fuss and prestige? My guess is that all those Republicans who scorn it keep an empty space on their mantle. Just big enough for a gold banjo. - jt-
and so it went on . . .
jt,
Did you take offense to this play on worldly events and for just the moment believe I had intended to serve a politically motivated volley of discontent with the prize bestowed upon our beloved Obama? Shame on you. It appears you do not know me as well as I thought.
- a very disappointed hoop
Mr. Hoople,
Would you take me for a fool? I remind you that My High Schooling was Ford-Carter vintage and my University studies Carter-Reagan. The younger Bush was still piss-drunk and unconscious on the Astro's outfield when I was filling up at the academic pump. No my Brother, his stain is not on me. I can tell a lampoon when I smell one . . . and that country music story of yours stinks to high-heaven of some lampoon way past the expiration date. Shame on you. It appears I'm not a dumb as you thought. God bless America.
- a highly disappointed jt
jt,
It appears that I've opened a fissure in the once stable ground where we stood together and appreciated a joke or two, politically motivated or not. Considering the degree of erection your hackle has experienced and due the the lack of concern I have exhibited for your political beliefs , I will do my very best to avoid the deliverance of any such political humor through the waves of cyber space, or other modes of communication, to any destination that may reach your liberal sensitivities.I therefore would like to apologize to you, and your family, for any inconvenience or embarrassment suffered due to my poor choice in said humor.
- Humbly, Hoop ----
Mr. Hoop,
Your insincere mea culpa only serves to further salt the fields of our long and seasoned friendship. To have me think your "news flash" from the Grand Ol' Opry was a legitimate attempt to praise the President of this great Nation of ours would have taken more than just a wiff of paltry sentiment from a shared past gone more than a little strange, but perhaps two or more of those delightful, red b-b sized hits of "25" you used to corrupt my youth and subsequent trajectory toward a sound financial portfolio. My ability to appreciate a joke was never tested during this most recent and unfortunate exchange, as from my perspective, nothing of the kind ever entered into it. I recall only the smile of my fresh risen face as I savored a sip from a steaming cup of morning coffee in front of the monitor upon which the world wide web, Al Gore's baby, greeted me with news of your missive. With the eagerness of a young cubscout brandishing his newest survival instrument, I rattled the keyboard in fevered anticipation, responding to every command, every request, each password with emphatic keystrokes, strutting like a drag biker in the Rainbow Day Parade. What could Kevin have to say ? . . . .
Your apology is unnecessary. I simply pity you and the new crowd you hang with. I choose to pass on the kool-aid this time and marvel instead at the shaft of light piercing through the smoke covered field of carnage where Bush's experiment with diplomacy went awry. Please send me another "joke". I enjoy a good laugh now and then.
-your pal, jt
I am too well informed to understand why some Americans think Obama might deserve a music award. I suppose eight years of Bush's "No Child Left Behind" push to improve the country's literacy rate, evitably ruined the Nation's chance to raise the percentage of educated adults. Everyone with a high school diploma should know the first black President of the United States has no rhythm! What the fuck did Bush do to this Country?!
Its a precious stroke of luck the Nobel Committee did not hold Obama responsible for the International mess Bush made of things. Choosing instead to focus credit on Mr. Obama's outline for returning our Nation to the diplomatic table, the "Global Community" after eight years of arrogant gorging at the Unilateral, Industrial trough; for accepting America's complicity in offenses to the Geneva convention; for reclaiming a role of leadership in discussions of Environmental concerns; for turning the light of Health Care back onto the American people; for allowing the Justice department free reign to explore criminal violations of the Constitution by members of the previous admiinistration and for trying to get the Olympic Committee to think Chicago.
The hope is there. The prize is a clever way for the Norwiegans to simply raise the octane level. Its their prize, let them do with it what they will. If the prize is so unfair, so meaningless, why all the fuss and prestige? My guess is that all those Republicans who scorn it keep an empty space on their mantle. Just big enough for a gold banjo. - jt-
and so it went on . . .
jt,
Did you take offense to this play on worldly events and for just the moment believe I had intended to serve a politically motivated volley of discontent with the prize bestowed upon our beloved Obama? Shame on you. It appears you do not know me as well as I thought.
- a very disappointed hoop
Mr. Hoople,
Would you take me for a fool? I remind you that My High Schooling was Ford-Carter vintage and my University studies Carter-Reagan. The younger Bush was still piss-drunk and unconscious on the Astro's outfield when I was filling up at the academic pump. No my Brother, his stain is not on me. I can tell a lampoon when I smell one . . . and that country music story of yours stinks to high-heaven of some lampoon way past the expiration date. Shame on you. It appears I'm not a dumb as you thought. God bless America.
- a highly disappointed jt
jt,
It appears that I've opened a fissure in the once stable ground where we stood together and appreciated a joke or two, politically motivated or not. Considering the degree of erection your hackle has experienced and due the the lack of concern I have exhibited for your political beliefs , I will do my very best to avoid the deliverance of any such political humor through the waves of cyber space, or other modes of communication, to any destination that may reach your liberal sensitivities.I therefore would like to apologize to you, and your family, for any inconvenience or embarrassment suffered due to my poor choice in said humor.
- Humbly, Hoop ----
Mr. Hoop,
Your insincere mea culpa only serves to further salt the fields of our long and seasoned friendship. To have me think your "news flash" from the Grand Ol' Opry was a legitimate attempt to praise the President of this great Nation of ours would have taken more than just a wiff of paltry sentiment from a shared past gone more than a little strange, but perhaps two or more of those delightful, red b-b sized hits of "25" you used to corrupt my youth and subsequent trajectory toward a sound financial portfolio. My ability to appreciate a joke was never tested during this most recent and unfortunate exchange, as from my perspective, nothing of the kind ever entered into it. I recall only the smile of my fresh risen face as I savored a sip from a steaming cup of morning coffee in front of the monitor upon which the world wide web, Al Gore's baby, greeted me with news of your missive. With the eagerness of a young cubscout brandishing his newest survival instrument, I rattled the keyboard in fevered anticipation, responding to every command, every request, each password with emphatic keystrokes, strutting like a drag biker in the Rainbow Day Parade. What could Kevin have to say ? . . . .
Your apology is unnecessary. I simply pity you and the new crowd you hang with. I choose to pass on the kool-aid this time and marvel instead at the shaft of light piercing through the smoke covered field of carnage where Bush's experiment with diplomacy went awry. Please send me another "joke". I enjoy a good laugh now and then.
-your pal, jt
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